Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
