Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
handjob tips. give me some.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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