I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
