Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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