we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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