I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
