Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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