ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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