Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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