Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
