I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
