Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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