you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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