haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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