I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
