I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize