I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
