he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
