Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1163) Bad night (3499)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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  (515): If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships. (641): Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump? http://tfl.nu/nlh0
  Replies (18) Good night (3315) Bad night (631)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

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  (478): yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way" http://tfl.nu/67ib
  Replies (8) Good night (4605) Bad night (829)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  (806): Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients http://tfl.nu/si73
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (2861)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the day after is always just damage control

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  (208): the day after is always just damage control http://tfl.nu/ugvq
  Replies (6) Good night (1157) Bad night (2815)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out

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  (267): Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out http://tfl.nu/835w
  Replies (14) Good night (4927) Bad night (1431)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3432) Bad night (676)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

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  (508): Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area http://tfl.nu/7yxw
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (427)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me

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  (215): Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/zwz8
  Replies (7) Good night (691) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.

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  (570): At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement? (1-570): I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet. http://tfl.nu/p7w6
  Replies (2) Good night (996) Bad night (400)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.

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  (506): Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression. http://tfl.nu/0vde
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (447)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.

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  (513): Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night. http://tfl.nu/s558
  Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.

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  (308): You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture. http://tfl.nu/dxd6
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.

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  (316): You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza. http://tfl.nu/b79k
  Replies (4) Good night (378) Bad night (927)
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  (323): View more from California

  Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.

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  (323): Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney. http://tfl.nu/bmnx
  Replies (3) Good night (1100) Bad night (241)

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