i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket