I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.