I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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