Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
