Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cockslap morals

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  (917): I cockslap morals http://tfl.nu/zqeh
  Replies (5) Good night (3095) Bad night (552)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  there's paper in my vomit.

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  (604): there's paper in my vomit. http://tfl.nu/yer9
  Replies (18) Good night (963) Bad night (3252)
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  (914): View more from New York

  After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!

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  (914): After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT! http://tfl.nu/umoe
  Replies (129) Good night (6341) Bad night (692)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (812) Bad night (3265)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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  (330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp
  Replies (68) Good night (6470) Bad night (1546)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I forgot about that,good spring break.

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  (703): then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild" (773): I forgot about that,good spring break. http://tfl.nu/09xy
  Replies (16) Good night (6199) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

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  (516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining. http://tfl.nu/o92e
  Replies (6) Good night (4168) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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  (406): What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name? http://tfl.nu/6xxw
  Replies (10) Good night (4546) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.

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  (512): At this point I just want to meet a man with a job. http://tfl.nu/97ts
  Replies (13) Good night (1762) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..

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  (228): He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room.. http://tfl.nu/jg6e
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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  (904): I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day http://tfl.nu/k829
  Replies (6) Good night (2171) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.

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  (720): Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/6vuz
  Replies (6) Good night (3212) Bad night (580)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"

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  (440): That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone" http://tfl.nu/gip2
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.

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  (937): I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms. http://tfl.nu/x3mv
  Replies (5) Good night (289) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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  (913): Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B http://tfl.nu/a09x
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (178)

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