Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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  (330): This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM? http://tfl.nu/jjdh
  Replies (23) Good night (4907) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5873) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accept this challenge.

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  (410): Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you. (301): I accept this challenge. http://tfl.nu/mbqm
  Replies (61) Good night (18908) Bad night (1902)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.

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  (469): I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over. http://tfl.nu/vab8
  Replies (13) Good night (908) Bad night (3934)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?

  (1-218): View more from Minnesota

  Both?

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  (218): Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants? (1-218): Both? http://tfl.nu/yr9r
  Replies (21) Good night (9329) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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  (978): Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane. http://tfl.nu/r200
  Replies (20) Good night (2900) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Be still, my beating vagina.

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  (619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal
  Replies (22) Good night (4448) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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  (661): I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head. http://tfl.nu/035n
  Replies (6) Good night (2570) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.

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  (901): Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open. http://tfl.nu/khnp
  Replies (10) Good night (665) Bad night (2462)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

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  (814): I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel? http://tfl.nu/5b1y
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday

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  (214): This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday http://tfl.nu/yy5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1136) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.

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  (310): thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones. http://tfl.nu/qrwe
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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  (647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1975) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

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  (250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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  (434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (219)

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