you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
