I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup