He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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