Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
