Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
two words...techno handjob
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
