I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
