this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
