so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
