Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Bring me that man meat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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