There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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