I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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