oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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