HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
