We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
