Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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