How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
