i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize