Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
