she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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