Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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