I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
