Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
two words...techno handjob
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
