literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
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We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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