he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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