I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
