are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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