i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
