you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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