im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
