Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
