i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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