He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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