I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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