Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
you never un-have a 4some
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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