I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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