So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
