the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
