His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he puts the penis in happiness.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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