I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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