He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
