these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
