Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Found your dick twin last night
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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