We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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