She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
