I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All the doctor said was why
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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