They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
