She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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