It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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