Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
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As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”