Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
